Here I Am...

We are Engineers.Engineers who imagine, inspire, react and oh yes! respirate. We sweat (Only humans perspire), we strain our analytical capabilities to their limit, we shroud our desires , worldly aspirations by the burden opf the human kind, the primitive predicaments that infest mankind's wheels of progress on the road to excellence. We push the human race forward, struggle against nature, conquer pragmatically impossible phenomenon. In other words, the nature is unto us, we are not unto her. For us, a solution delayed is a solution bettered. If we dont have an answer today, wait until tomorrow. Welcome to our realm of knowledge, where application is awakening, where the "impossible" is just another word, a question, a potential, its temporary, and not a barrier, a statement or a fixture respectively. This is our sight, where every daunting challenge is dismantled into variables, which can be "operated upon". But I am ashamed of the legacy I am living through...

I am an average, drab, short of sleep ( taken care of its quota in the class), anti Bath-ist, back-scratching, mentally perambulating on all things other than whats going on engineering student, studying in one of the premier institutes of the country. And I am made to feel this. No, it was not me who came up with such slander about this noble profession. And I am not alone. I possibly voice the thoughts of many of my fraternity, here and beyond. I was not introduced this way. I am a proselyte, the things that have dissuaded me in lauding my responsibilities and pride I would have in fullfilling them are rooted to this "System", the ubiquitious reference to the administration, the curriculum and all the jazz that goes around the college. For all those who have already christened me as a "loser", who sees all the world unto himself, this is what I get to feel when I am in the ominous presence of this system of ours. I think I was brought upon this earth to inherit the lucrative posterity of this ectoplasmic school of thought, the engineeering school of thought. I would cease to exist if I denied to shoulder this burden of mankind, if I shamelessly shrug this pursuit of benign authority of humans over nature. Yes, I still believe this is my forte, my alma mater. But what the heck! Was it meant to be this way?

My room's wall, whose most of the whitewash is flaking off (you still dont have an idea!), has one of my own concocted quotations, "Here I am, This is me, And there's everywhere except this place I wanna be...". I am susprised how a mind of appreciable fecundity has been wasting away to a seminally dense creature made to be so redundant and careless. I admit that something about this place has encumbered the proficient me. And the brevity of this phase is amusingly specefic to the confines of the classes. Outside, or rather away from them, I am back to myself, ideas pirouetting like planets in my mind. I am not being a sacrilegeous, self praising moron. I know what I am and god bless me to have such salubrious surroundings where I amanged to branch out into a thinking individual. But am I really thinking? Or am I really let to think? Ok what am I thinking... Nothing!

This "nothing" is the riddle I am trying to make sense of. the crossroad with a signpost with a million signs and directions, the destination unclear. What will ensue will be a reflection of my life and times at this "wonderful" place, where I am reportedly "destined" ( a beggar child on the signal told me that yesterday afternoon when I was blankly looking even after the light turned green.... Does god have reporters? I wonder. ), more reasonably according to be is the fact that I cant get a way out, thats why. So each day brings forth stupendous propositions and situations, new people sauntering in or in other cases stomping their way through my life, trampling my sanities under their cruel feet. Another "feature" of this place is the lack of female professors. Sad. Being from a more balanced academic and social brought-up, where such things are not even worth a mention, lack of it is even more so a lurid thing. This kind of makes things quite rough and suffocated, for me atleast. But then the male species gives what cant be substtuted, Idiosyncrasies people! Profs and colleagues, my own wierd, crazy visions, dreams and yes, objects of musings, i mean "Muses" who get my attention now and then, I mean every now and then, huh I am hopeless....about whom I keep thinking, time and again... Geeeeez.
"There is this girl, you see..." Ok cut it, leave it, C'mon. I can start anytime you say. So damn aloof to sensibility! (that was intended to be a monologue by the way).
Till I get done with this girl who's playing hide and seek with me all day, dont worry you will get to know about it soon, I'll sign off!